Zero Tolerance

While men gather to talk sports at bars or barbershops, women congregate at grocery stores and our version of the barbershop, the beauty salon. This weekend, I stepped into my friend Dawn Hahn's beautiful new Blow Dry Bar, Bloom in West Portal. That's where another friend, Jessica came up to me to talk about my new blog and flat out state that she is: "done with the NFL!" Jessica is not alone. Most women I know, and I've been waiting a few days to make sure we weren't "over-reacting," share the same passionate opinion.  Zero tolerance should mean exactly that: Zero tolerance. And our beloved 49ers are also guilty of hiding behind "technicalities." Trust me, I was a pre-law student and I more than anyone believe in due process.  However, where is the due process when a league turns a blind eye on unquestionably graphic evidence to protect their financial investments? As parents, the most important lesson we teach our children is that their actions have consequences.  In sports it seems, those in positions of power, and it's not just the league commissioners, but the owners and coaches, feel quite comfortable with ignoring the domestic violence crisis in hopes it will simply go away. Now I'm not saying that every case is a Ray Rice case and that all professional athletes behave as if they don't have to follow society's rules.

In my 20's I dated a 49er. He was a true gentleman and was even shier than I was. We went out several times, once double dated with another very recognizable player and it was amazing how women literally threw themselves at them. I wasn't comfortable with that scene, but others are. It isn't easy for the object of so much female adoration either. But hitting a woman is never allowed, no matter what!  I've repeated that to my son. It's time for our society to stand up and spell it out. You hit a woman you will pay a very hefty price. Some men argue that a first offense should be treated lightly.  A good friend suggested we, "Give them a break, let them enroll in programs to rehabilitate." I do believe that if someone wants to change they should be given that chance, but the message has to be firm: You hit a woman and you will face serious punishments.  We as a society have a duty to demand that change, and this involves more than professional athletes. Let the conversations begin and yes, please let's invite women in.